I-da-who?

I enter the elevator with 2 British people and a man I do not know.

Brits: Any fun weekend plans?

Tara: Yes actually I am going to Ocean City Maryland for a Bachlorette Party.

Brits: Maryland? Where is Maryland?

Tara: 2 states down. I should get you guys a map. All you really need to know is the coasts, though. The whole middle part is pretty worthless.
(To the man I don't know)- you are not from the Midwest are you?

Stranger: I am not, but my life partner for the last 18 years is from the Midwest.

At this point I remove my shoe and place my foot directly in my mouth and exit the elevator.

Isn't it ironic?

I get into the elevator with 5 people I work with. Alanis Morrisette is blasting out of the headphones I just took off.

Ooh this could get messy But you don't seem to mind Ooh don't go telling everybody And overlook this supposed crime

Tara: No, I am not listening to Alanis Morrisette.

And I have honored your request for silence And you've washed your hands clean of this

I can't seem to turn it off and I am mad scrambling to turn it off. Finally I turn it off. And I, now sweating, exit the elevator.

I am pretty sure I am the only person who has bought (and loved) all of the Alanis albums after "Jagged Little Pill."

Child Labor

YOUNG PROFESSIONAL

Guy: going to school?
Dom: nope, work
.......long pause.......
Guy: just for the summer, right?
Dom: no, I work full time
.......long pause.......
Guy: you look very young
Dom: oh..

- New York
Submitted by Dom

So hot in here

So...
I walk into the elevator today with 5 other people. It's arguably 100 degrees outside and I insist on bringing too much stuff to work everyday, so I'm hot. Uncomfortably, hot. I decide to talk to the other 5 people in the elevator, none of which I know, and share my disgust with the heat.

Tara: Okay. Summer was great but I am ready to move right along to Fall.

Silence from all of the people in the elevator.

New theory- chance of awkward elevator ride rises with each additional person you do not know in it.

- New York
Submitted by Tara

The Explorer

I once had my kids Dora toothbrush turn on and my bag began to vibrate very loudly. I decided to ignore the noise for the rest of the ride.


- Phildelphia
Submitted by Ashley

The Just Plain Strange

I like to whisper to people that I have new socks on.

- Philadelphia
Submitted by Joe

The Phone

I was talking on my phone in the elevator with 1 other women in it.

When I hung up I said:
"It's weird the phones work in the elevators here."

"What?" she said.

"My phone. It's strange it works in the elevator."

"Oh, mine doesn't." she said.

"Oh."

"It's good yours does though." she said.

And then I got off the elevator.

- 40th and Madison
Submitted by Tara

The One Armed Man

I stepped into an elevator. There was a man in there with one arm.
The door began to close and we heard a woman yell, "Hold the elevator."
He reached out with his one arm to stop the door from closing.
A ballsy one, he was.

- Chicago
Submitted by Jeremy of JeremyStraight.com

The Obvious

My favorite thing to do when in an elevator is say out loud: God, it's so awkward in here!

- Backpacking through Europe
Submitted by Liz of LiztheGirl

image stolen from here

The Slightly Insane

I don't know if this counts but...

When I'm in a full elevator. Everybody kind of faces the door, right?
Well, I like to make fun faces or pretend I'm singing.
It makes me laugh.

But I guess that makes the ride awkward for others, not me.
hahaha.

- Spain
Submitted by Ainara of This Is Not Going To Last

image stolen from here

The Bash

So I am about to get in an elevator with a guy today and his shirt on the back says:
Bachelor Bash '09 Fort Lauderdale FL

I say to him, "How was the bash?"

He said, "What?"

I said, "Your shirt."

He said, "Oh its not mine."

I said, "Your shirt?"

He said, "Its my roommates."

I said, "Oh, did he enjoy the bash?"

He said, "I don't know."

Then it was awkward for 2 floors and then I got off.

- 40th and Madison
Submitted by Tara

The Squirelly One

I got in the elevator a couple months ago...and there was this weird squirrely looking woman. I looked at the elevator buttons and she had pressed all of them.

This fucking 50 year old woman had pushed all the buttons!!! And I looked at her and said
"Really lady? really?"

She got off on the next floor and I had to ride the entire way up.

- 26th and Madison
Submitted by Jed of Chats with Jed and Sara